We all seem to be experiencing- to one degree or another- an unusual weight of adversity right now. To have tremendous kindness towards ourselves and to model this for others and for our children might be the greatest gift we can offer. We may not feel our best much of the time or be on top of our game. Can we accept this and soften our self-expectations? We might aspire to accept the full spectrum of our experience and our emotions, and then model this with our children when they’re feeling any which way:
“I can tell you’re sad; I’d be sad too…….”
“I can tell you’re mad; that was really hard…..”
“I can tell you’re frustrated. You really wanted to do that, didn’t you?”
“I can tell you really liked that….”
The intensity of this current time provides an opportunity to work with all the emotions presenting themselves to us. Usually life is orderly just enough so we can at least pretend to have it “all together.” Such pretension is trickier to pull off now, given the number of ducks not in a row, or even in the pond! :-)
We can instead practice compassion for ourselves and kindness for others who are dealing with their own adversity. Slowing down, listening, finding even a moment of self-acceptance or self-care, can show our children we value these things in our own lives.
-Steve
“We won’t have much compassion to give others if we’re not being kind to ourselves.”
-Dzogchen Ponlop Rinpoche
